Finding Support When Something Happened and You’re Not Sure What to Call It
That terrible feeling when something happened that you can’t quite name, and now you might be pregnant. You might find yourself searching “was it assault if I didn’t fight back” or “pregnant after something I didn’t want” while feeling confused, scared, and alone with experiences that are hard to put into words.
If you’re in Minneapolis, St. Paul, or anywhere in the Twin Cities area, please know that you don’t have to face this situation alone. At Guiding Star Wakota in West St Paul, we understand that trauma and potential pregnancy create complex emotions that deserve compassionate, professional support.
When the Lines Feel Unclear
Many women struggle to define experiences that felt wrong but didn’t fit their idea of what assault looks like. Maybe you didn’t say no clearly enough, or you were drinking, or you knew the person, or you initially went along with it before it became something you didn’t want. These situations can leave you feeling confused about what actually happened and whether your feelings are valid.
The shame, confusion, and self-doubt that often follow these experiences can be overwhelming on their own. When a potential pregnancy enters the picture, those feelings can become even more intense and complicated. You might feel desperate to make the situation go away as quickly as possible, especially if you’re not ready to talk about what happened.
Many women in the Minneapolis area have shared with us that they felt pressure to handle everything quietly and quickly, believing that ending a potential pregnancy would somehow erase what happened to them. Unfortunately, rushing into major decisions while processing trauma rarely brings the peace and healing that women hope for.
You deserve time to process what happened and to make decisions about your health and future from a place of support rather than crisis. At Guiding Star Wakota, we provide a safe space where you can explore your feelings and options without any pressure or judgment.
Feeling overwhelmed by trauma and the possibility of pregnancy? Our compassionate counselors at Guiding Star Wakota understand the complexity of these situations. Call us at 651.457.1195 to speak with someone who will listen without judgment.
How Trauma Affects Decision-Making
When you’re dealing with trauma, whether you call it assault, coercion, or something that just felt wrong, your ability to think clearly about major decisions can be significantly impacted. Trauma affects the parts of your brain responsible for planning, reasoning, and weighing consequences, making it harder to consider long-term implications of immediate choices.
This is why many trauma survivors report making decisions during crisis periods that they later question or regret. The intense desire to escape emotional pain can drive choices that feel necessary in the moment but don’t align with your deeper values or long-term wellbeing.
Research shows that women who experience sexual trauma or coercion are particularly vulnerable to feeling intense pressure to “fix the situation quickly” through abortion. However, studies have found that women who choose abortion after sexual assault often experience higher rates of psychological distress, including severe guilt, depression, and post-traumatic stress symptoms.
In many cases, the abortion itself becomes a second trauma rather than providing relief from the first. Some women report that choosing abortion created long-term regret, especially as they later processed the assault and realized how much external pressure influenced their choice during a vulnerable time.
At Guiding Star Wakota, we understand that what feels like the right choice during a crisis might not be the right choice for your long-term healing and wellbeing. We’re here to provide you with comprehensive information and emotional support so you can make decisions from a place of strength rather than panic.
Pressure From Others During Vulnerable Times
When you’re dealing with trauma and potential pregnancy, you may face pressure from people around you to handle the situation in ways that serve their comfort rather than your healing. Partners, family members, or even some healthcare providers may encourage abortion as a way to “move on” or avoid difficult conversations about what happened.
This pressure is especially common and particularly harmful for women who became pregnant under coercive or abusive circumstances. Surveys show that more than 50% of women who obtain abortions report feeling external pressure, and this rate is even higher among women who became pregnant through assault or coercion.
Tragically, abortion is sometimes used as a tool by abusers to cover up ongoing exploitation or trafficking. The person who hurt you may push for abortion to eliminate evidence or avoid consequences, prioritizing their protection over your healing and wellbeing.
In these vulnerable situations, you deserve safe spaces to process what happened fully, without being rushed into choices that might serve other people’s interests more than your own. Your healing and wellbeing should be the priority, not other people’s comfort or convenience.
Don’t let others pressure you into quick decisions when you’re already dealing with trauma. The caring team at Guiding Star Wakota provides trauma-informed support to help you understand your options without any pressure. We’re located at 1140 S Robert St in West St Paul and serve women throughout the Minneapolis metro area.
Understanding the Long-Term Emotional Impact
Many women who undergo abortion after trauma report significant emotional impacts that can last for years. These can include persistent depression, flashbacks or nightmares, severe anxiety, relationship difficulties, and substance abuse as a way of coping with complex emotions.
One study found that women who chose abortion after sexual assault had higher rates of PTSD symptoms compared to those who carried the pregnancy to term. For many women, the abortion does not resolve the underlying trauma but compounds it, creating additional layers of grief and loss to process.
This doesn’t mean that abortion is never the right choice, but it does mean that the decision deserves careful consideration with proper support rather than being made hastily during a time of crisis. The emotional consequences of major decisions made during trauma can surface months or years later, long after the immediate situation has passed.
Medical professionals who work with women after abortion frequently report that those who were assaulted often experience complicated grief related to both the abortion and the initial violation. This complex emotional experience requires specialized support and understanding.
At Guiding Star Wakota, our counselors are trained to understand the intersection of trauma and reproductive decisions. We can help you think through the potential long-term emotional consequences of all your options so you can make choices that support your healing rather than complicating it.
Why Quick Fixes Don’t Heal Trauma
When you’re in emotional pain, solutions that promise immediate relief can seem very appealing. The idea that ending a pregnancy will somehow erase what happened to you is understandable, but trauma doesn’t work that way. Quick fixes rarely address the underlying emotional wounds that need attention and care.
Making irreversible medical decisions while your mind and body are still processing trauma can actually interfere with your natural healing process. Your nervous system needs time and safety to recover from traumatic experiences, and adding the stress of major medical decisions can overwhelm your capacity to cope.
Many women who made quick decisions about pregnancy while dealing with trauma later wish they had taken more time to process their experiences and explore their options with professional support. The pressure to “handle it quickly” often comes from other people’s discomfort rather than what’s actually best for your wellbeing.
Healing from trauma takes time, patience, and usually professional support. Decisions made during the acute phase of trauma often don’t reflect what you might choose once you’ve had time to process your experience and regain your emotional equilibrium.
Building Your Support Network
Dealing with trauma and potential pregnancy requires more support than most people can provide for themselves. This is not a weakness or failure, it’s a recognition that human beings heal better with care and support from others who understand what they’re experiencing.
Look for healthcare providers and counselors who have specific training in trauma and reproductive health. Not all professionals understand the complex intersection of these issues, and you deserve care from people who won’t minimize your experience or rush you toward any particular choice.
Consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional support without trying to influence your decisions. Sometimes just having someone listen without judgment can help clarify your own thoughts and feelings about your situation.
Many women throughout the Twin Cities area have found that professional counseling specifically focused on trauma recovery helped them process their experiences and make decisions about their pregnancies from a place of strength rather than crisis.
At Guiding Star Wakota, we provide trauma-informed care that recognizes the complex emotions and needs of women who have experienced assault or coercion. We’re here to support your healing process without any agenda about what you should decide regarding your pregnancy.
Need trauma-informed support as you process your experiences and options? Call Guiding Star Wakota at 651.457.1195 to connect with counselors who understand the complexity of trauma and pregnancy.
Your Right to Time and Space
Despite what others might tell you or what your own panic might suggest, you have the right to take time to process what happened to you before making major decisions about your health and future. This is not procrastination or avoidance, it’s responsible self-care during a difficult time.
You have the right to seek professional counseling to help you understand and process your experiences. Trauma can affect your memory, emotions, and decision-making in ways that aren’t immediately obvious, and professional support can help you navigate these challenges.
You have the right to medical care that addresses both your physical and emotional needs. This includes pregnancy testing, health screenings, and treatment for any physical effects of trauma, all provided with compassion and respect for your experiences.
Most importantly, you have the right to make decisions about your body and your future based on your own values and circumstances, not based on pressure from others or decisions made during crisis moments.
At Guiding Star Wakota, we believe that informed decision-making requires both complete medical information and adequate time to process your emotions and circumstances. We provide both without any pressure toward particular choices.
Comprehensive Support in the Twin Cities Area
At Guiding Star Wakota, located at 1140 S Robert St in West St Paul, Minnesota, we understand that facing potential pregnancy after trauma creates unique challenges that require specialized care and support. Our team has been serving women throughout Minneapolis, St. Paul, and the greater Twin Cities metro area with trauma-informed services.
We believe that women who have experienced assault or coercion deserve compassionate, professional care that addresses both their immediate medical needs and their long-term emotional wellbeing. Our services are designed to provide comprehensive support during this difficult time.
Our trauma-informed services include:
- Free, confidential pregnancy testing with immediate results in a safe, supportive environment
- Free limited ultrasounds performed by licensed medical professionals who understand trauma responses
- Private consultations with counselors trained in trauma and reproductive health
- Complete information about all your options without pressure toward any particular choice
- Ongoing emotional support throughout your decision-making process
- Referrals to specialized trauma therapists and additional support services throughout the Twin Cities area
- A commitment to respecting your timeline and supporting whatever choices align with your values and healing process
All of our services are completely free and confidential, and we never require you to involve anyone else in your care unless you choose to do so. Our doors are open Monday through Friday from 9am to 5pm, and we welcome you regardless of your circumstances or what you’ve experienced.
Creating Safety for Healing
Healing from trauma requires safety, and that includes feeling safe in your healthcare environment. At Guiding Star Wakota, we prioritize creating an atmosphere where you can process your experiences and explore your options without feeling judged, rushed, or pressured.
Our staff members are trained to recognize trauma responses and to provide care that doesn’t re-traumatize or overwhelm you. We understand that medical appointments can feel triggering after assault, and we work to make our environment as comfortable and safe as possible.
We also understand that decision-making after trauma can feel overwhelming. Our counselors can help you break down complex decisions into manageable steps and provide you with the emotional support you need throughout the process.
Your healing journey is unique to you, and we’re here to support whatever path feels right for your recovery and wellbeing. We believe that decisions made from a place of healing and support lead to better long-term outcomes than decisions made during crisis moments.
Moving Forward With Support
Instead of rushing into decisions while you’re still processing what happened to you, consider giving yourself the gift of time and professional support. Confirm your pregnancy status through reliable medical testing in a trauma-informed environment, and ensure that any medical care you receive addresses your safety and emotional needs.
Connect with healthcare providers and counselors who understand trauma and won’t pressure you toward any particular choice about your pregnancy. Seek out support that helps you process your experiences and make decisions from a place of strength rather than crisis.
Most importantly, remember that healing is possible and that you deserve care that supports your wellbeing in both the short and long term. What happened to you was not your fault, and you deserve support that honors both your experiences and your right to make your own informed decisions about your future.
Ready to get trauma-informed support and comprehensive information about your options? Contact Guiding Star Wakota today at 651.457.1195 or visit us at 1140 S Robert St, West St Paul, MN 55118. We’re open Monday through Friday from 9am to 5pm, and all our services are completely free and confidential.
You don’t have to navigate trauma and potential pregnancy alone. Take the first step toward healing-centered support by reaching out to our caring team today. We’re here to help you move forward with safety, support, and respect for your experiences and your choices.
References
- Rue et al., Medical Science Monitor, 2004.
- Elliot Institute Reports.
- Reardon et al., Cureus Journal, 2023.
- Coleman et al., Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons, 2017.
- Reardon et al., Cureus Journal, 2023.
- Elliot Institute Reports; Aultman et al., Issues in Law & Medicine, 2021.
- Gissler et al., European Journal of Public Health, 2005.
- Vincent Rue, Medical Science Monitor, 2004.
- Elliot Institute Reports; Linacre Quarterly, 2013.